slipperysoul | ic contact; ( if he can actually figure out how to work this damn thing, that is )

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ic contact; ( if he can actually figure out how to work this damn thing, that is )

❝ Oh, no, I can't do anything fun tonight.
I have to count my past sins.
Then alphabetize them. ❞

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I don't regret it.

[ that tumbles out fast, like she can't bear to say it. ]

That's the worst part. I'm-- I regret the situation and I don't feel good about it, but... he tried to kill me, and I all I really wish is that it had been Ward instead, and I--

...am I an awful person?

No, you're not. [ that's easy. ] It was self defense. Unless you think you're an awful person for wanting to kill Ward, which still isn't true. Pretty sure the entire ship wants to show him what it feels like. Not that group mentality's always a good thing, either, but wanting revenge isn't itself bad.

None of it makes you an awful person. You were protecting yourself.

I just--

[ she sighs. ]

I hate myself for saying it because I know how it sounds, but this wasn't supposed to be who I am.

Then who are you?

I'm not sure I know the answer to that as well as I did, not anymore.

Maybe it's time you figure it out all over again. Because being somebody who kills someone in self-defense, doesn't mean you can't be the person i've seen you be everywhere else.

Well-- yeah, if you want to use logic. I was thinking more emotional breakdown, maybe a joint or twelve.

[ angel you're kind of good at this. ]

[ shhh, it's called practice. ]

Can't stop you from trying that method either, just don't know if it's as helpful in the long run.

Your face isn't as helpful in the long run.

[ something about angel makes her want to be-- a little childish, honestly, and not because he annoys her; as grossly romance novel as it sounds, he seems like someone who needs people to poke at him just to keep him from holing in around himself. ]

On the adult side of things, thank you. I think I needed that reality check pretty bad.

Anytime. If it was a reality check when it came to anything else, I might not be nearly as helpful, but i'd still be happy to try.

[ it's true though, even if angel would never admit it out loud. it was something that cordelia had figured out, just like fred. and just like buffy (when he actually let her figure it out) but he's just as content to close everything off and force himself to keep going with nothing else. because what else was there to do? ]

Just like i'm not sure I can follow that up with anything. Could just talk about your gray hair again.

I should probably... take that out and decompress a little, anyway.

...hey Angel?

Yeah?

If you ever need anything, I'm there-- I think at this point I owe you one. More than, actually.

I know you are.

Nice wiggle around-- try again.

[ YOU WILL ACCEPT HER HELP ANGEL WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

this got real threatening. ]

What're you expecting me to say?

[ because really, he's fairly sure that if he started talking about anything at all, there would be no end in sight.]

Do you just want me to tell you something to balance things out? Because I could always talk about Angelus while we're on the subject- that's just not exactly something I need to work through. [ pfffffffffffffff ]

You could start with 'Jenna, if anything major and current happens I won't sit alone and think about how awful I am, I'll remember you owe me a favor and come to you'.

That's a good start.

We'll go with that.

Ahem.

[ this is a repeat after me song, angel. ]

[ SOMETIMES HE HATES YOU PEOPLE

god you are like all of his womenz combined except for buffy because if she was also like buffy that'd be a problem. ]

Jenna, if anything devastatingly apocalyptic happens, I won't sit around and think about it how it's still my fault. Instead i'll remember you owe me one and find you so you can try to convince me otherwise.

And on that note? Beware of the mayor. [ SEE. THERE. he told you something pertinent. ]

[ she will wear that proudly tyvm ]

Good. And what's up with the Mayor?

[ she won't even harp on feelings and move right to business JUST FOR YOU ANGEL ]

[ WELL AT LEAST SHE KNOWS HOW TO GET TO HIS FEELINGS. ]

He's a demon. Or at least he's going to be one. Probably should've been killed the second he stepped on board.

[ ohhhhhmygaawd that feels so good to tell someone. ]

...I should have more of a panic response, but all I can summon is general worry.

Can I do anything?

[ o captain her captain. ]

I'll let you know if you can help.

[ see? he's learning. ]

Good answer.

[ she loevs you angel ]

ic contact; ( if he can actually figure out how to work this damn thing, that is )

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